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Dreamer's Journal

a collection of poems and prose ...

To my dearest Max From Liz, I love you

I died and you brought me to life. I worried and you reassured. I cried and you consoled me. I fell and you caught me, except once and that one time I fell in love and you cherished me in your arms and your whispered sweet words into my ears and you gave kisses that caused my core to tremble and you held me as if the world would fall if we separated for a second.

But then your other alien destiny came into view and I was not included. I left feeling numb, confused and empty to the thought that my beloved, my Max was married to another.

When I returned you were there waiting with arms wide open, ready to take me back. My heart was an inch away from running back into the folds of your strong arms when troubles arose. Another you came and he told me wonderful stories of our future together. You and me forever. Max and Liz forever. But as soon as the beautiful thoughts were built he pulled out the cornerstone and sent them tumbling to the ground to crash and shatter in my mind. Because they were never meant to be, we were never meant to be together. Our love would cause devastation of many and of eventually of you and me.

Oh Max, I didn’t know what to do. I decided to try to break our love but I was hard and I had to try again and again each time putting us through separate Hell’s in your minds but stabbing at the same combined heart .

After you saw Kyle and me, the other you disappeared I knew that what I didn’t want to happen just had. Your trust was gone because I couldn’t take away your love-that would have been to hard.

But I did it out of love. I had to hurt you and the only reason that I kept trying was I love you so much. I know I didn’t break your love for me. I can still feel it whenever you’re near. I pain for breaking your trust in me. I know that trust holds up love and that minus trust love is weakens and starts to crumble. But I’m not fretting, not yet at least. I can build up your trust again.

But I’m falling now again, trying to find something to hold onto and trying to never forget and praying neither will you. I sit her hoping that you will believe in us for I shall believe until the Earth is gone and then some.


To Liz From Max

When I saw you there with Kyle. I was hurt and pained to see you there with another guy. To see you making love with someone I knew you didn’t love. Pain, confusion, and helplessness clouded my mind. Why? I hadn’t even seen it coming…this couldn’t be you, but the more I conversed with you the more you reassured me what I didn’t want to believe. I lived in a daze and I still am. I’m hurting inside and inside I'm wanting to hate you. I want to punish you with my hate but I can’t. I can’t stop loving you, but that night, that night that I saw you lying there, my trust in you broke and caused a painful crack in my heart. I want to be with you again but I don’t want to be pained again, I don’t want to have to worry betraying my trust. And I don’t’ know if that trust can be rebuilt unless you know an amazing mason on the heart, which I hope that you do find. Because I shall believe that I can see lies and that what I saw was a misunder standing and that we will be together again. I know that you are lying to me and I can only hope that soon the truth arises and I can trust you once again. And then sometime in the future I’ll be the one lying beside you in bed.

To My Fellow Dreamers

From all our newbies to our mother,
From all our artists to all our lurkers,
From all the EAS to the OMG what was that?
From the morning crew to the gutter couch

We stand as one

United in the belief of the
true love
between an alien boy named Max and a girl named Liz

Whether we die tomorrow or fifty years from now,
Our destiny is the same

To dream

Fire and Ice
Fire and Ice
We were so close
How were we torn a part
in an instant I lost your heart
I know you still love me
but how can you anymore
The hurt we felt broke the connection between us two
I feel so bad for what I did
But the future was at stake
What was I to do
I can tell no onne of what I did
The truth is locked up inside me tight
Oh how I wish to let it out tonight
My heart is pounding with so much sorrow
My continous crying has made my eyes bloodshot
Tell me
Will the connection ever be repaired
Will the love that we shared ever be restored
I want to be with you til the end
So please forgive me
and come back to me again

by:me Villandra

When I Will Love You

When the sky turns black
When the moon starts to rise
When the stars start to shine
That is when I will love you

When the sky turns blue
When the sun starts to rise
When the stars start to fade
That is when I will love you

When the world is evil
When the musuc stops
When you canno go on
That is when I will love you

When the world is good
When the music keeps playing
When you can keep going
That is when I will love you
When you lie to me
When I can't trust you
When the words don't seem right
That is when I will love you

When truth is said
When trust is trust
When the words seem right
That is when I will love you

FireyAngel Love is when you care deeply,
Deeply enough for a person,
That you would die for them.

Love is like the flowing water in streams
, Peaceful as the water moves,
Beautiful for the water is clear enough to see through.

Love is the sound of a beating heart,
Always beating for the person,
The person it cares for.

Love is like the color of blood,
The beautiful red,
Red not of anger or madness,
But of deep caring.

Love is the softness of velvet,
Always smooth,
Smooth enough to help comfort.

Love is like the honey of life,
Always sweet,
Sweet enough to bring the best for the one it cares for.
Love is honey,
For it is thick,
Thick enough to bring care and emotion into the relationship.

Love is the rose, Always smelling sweet,
Sweet enough to get you through the day.

Love is the look of caring in each others eyes,
You see the loving look smile when you are near,
That look is what helps you to go on.

When the stars start shining bright,
As people go to sleep,
The world starts resting,
Love is what helps people go on,
Love is the very emotion people want.

Love is something that will never die,
Love is the very essence for life,
We are born to love,
We die because we have loved.

Love will last through the ages,
While even though not many people will receive love when they want,
They will get it when God feels they are ready.

By fireryangel

Everybody's looking for that something,
One thing that makes it all complete,
You find it in the strangest places,
Places you never knew it could be.

Some find it in the face of their children,
Some find it in the lovers eyes,
Who can deny the joy it brings
when you find that special thing,
You're flying without wings.

Some find it sharing every momment,
Some in their solitary lives,
You find it in the words of others,
A simple line can make you laugh or cry.

You find it in the deepest friendship,
The kind you cherish all your life,
And when you know how much that means,
You,ve found that special thing,
You're flying without wings.

By ellen

Standing in this moment
Peaceful in this time
Knowing I am yours
Knowing you are mine

The wind blows gently
Rustling the leaves
You hold me in your arms
Putting me at ease

And I cannot imagine
Any greater bliss
Than being here with you
Just exactly like this

Our arms around each other
Our bodies intertwined
One goal, one strength, one purpose
One body, soul, and mind

Your eyes so full of love
Your heart beneath my hand
I look at you again
And know you understand

That no matter what may come
No matter what may be
I will always love you
And you always will love me


Can You Be The One

Heaven would be here right now
If you could just come to me
I long for your touch
And I love you so much...
you are the one

Can you not feel …

I am holding a place for you
By my bleeding heart
It beats for you still
And I hope you can feel …
…you are the one

Can you not see …

We parted last night
Words I have spoken
Hearts I left broken
But please, can’t you see …
… you are the one

Can you not want …

I lied, said things that I did not believe
It is killing me to deceive
But your life hangs on my words
I can not have what I want
…you are the one

Can you not be …

Please be the one
To see beyond the words,
Inside where I hide the truth
Where I wait for you
…you are the one

Forever, the only one

Time is the key
I hold in my grasp
And I know I can‘t yet
Break the tie, unravel the net
Can you …
Can you please …
Oh no, no, I can not let you
Come back to me
…you are the one

Not ‘til time’s path is released
And you are free
Then you’ll come here for me
And again you will see
…I am the one.
Can you not hope …

Heaven will be right here for us
When our arms are twined tight
And I glow with your light
I love you so much
…you are the one
Can you not wait …

You are more than my life to me
So I hurt you some more …
I will be strong
And I will wait forever for…
…you are the one


To Liz:

*There Has To Be An Explanation*

What is it you're hiding?
You can say nothing
But I know there is
There has to be an explanation

I can see it in your eyes
Hear it in your voice
I won't stop trying to figure out whatit is
There has to be an explanation

I know you'd never hurt me
You're full of love for me
As I am for you
There has to be an explanation

This is killing me
I can tell that whatever it is
Is killing you too
There has to be an explanation

We're soulmates
We're written in the stars; Binary pairs
I love you Liz
There has to be an explanation...

Love Always, Max

Alienated By Max



As I watch you walk through those doors,
You seem to float through the air
Your hair swirls gently around your neck
Then you turn your head to me

Pulling me out of my Crashdown seat,
Your kisses grace my lips
Your hands hold me close to you
And then you whisper those words

"Loving you has been so hard
Through the toughest times
But it's all been worthwhile
When we share moments like these..."

After the kiss you look in my eyes
And I swear I saw into you
You close your eyes and kiss me again
Not saying a word

As I watch you walk through those doors,
Your hair swirls gently around your neck
Then you turn your head to me
And walk right past


Reflections by StrawbehryApplesauce

Looking in your eyes,
I see myself in reflection
I feel your pain, your love, your hope,
But then destiny comes this way

She knows more than I'll ever know
She knew you before you knew me
What can I do but watch and wait?
What can I do but let you slip away?

You say that you're coming for me,
But I won't stay here
You have other places you're needed now
And you don't need me by your side

As long as you know I love you,
As long as you know I still care,
There will always be that part of you
That I see my reflection in.

Holding You closer:

When I held you I questioned life
Was I actually alive to hold you?
Was this a dream or a fantasy?
Were you letting me hold you to love you ?

Then something came alive in me
I was holding you closer than any person before
I was loving you more and more

And when you walked away
I thought about you more and more
I cried so bad holding myself at night
And dreaming sweet dreams that turned to nightmares

But all in all I was holding you closer
more than I could imagine.
We sacrificed so much to protect everyone
And for our lives and now I want to sacrifice my life for our love

mimi: Max and Liz's kid

That dreamy look
That touch of love
It's what got us hooked.

Those loving words
From his heart
Those kisses
That send you through space.

We all want Liz
Don't hesitate
Just take him
Into your arms.

What's the harm?

He still loves you,Liz
And we know you
Love him too.

For when that night
You saw him with her
Your heart ached
As did ours.

by BehrSkinRug
Dear Max
I know how much your hurting
Remember I was there once too
I saw you kiss another
You even got flashes from her
But you told me to have faith
In you and in us
Now you feel i've betrayed you
Your faith has somehow gone
Don't give up on me Max
On our love we hold so dear
Your the one and only
Nothing else has been so clear.


To make me Cry

I'm sitting here
With tears in my eyes
Wondering how you know
The ways to make me cry.

Is it because
After knowing me these years
You've figured out the strings to pull
The ones that trigger tears?

Or is it because
I'm as fragile as glass
But the tough shell that I show
Is what others can't get past.

Or maybe your expierenced
At this type of thing
And after doing it time after time
Tears, you can easily bring.

Or maybe it's just you
That makes me so weak
And you don't have to do anything but breath
. You don't even have to speak.

Or maybe it's because I love you
That makes me vulnerable so
I care about you so much.
How am I to know?

Baby, I still sit here.
With those tears far from my eyes.
They've been replaced by new ones
While the old I've yet to dry.

Whatever the ways
You use to make me cry
However you knowHow to break my heart
As you utter the words "Goodbye".

I have a new thought
As you flee like a silver dove
Why oh why
Does it hurt so much to love?

By Flycat

Once again
I find myself
Buried in your arms

Once again
I don't care
If this brings me harm

Once again
I'm making a vow
To the one I love

And Once again
I'm being held
By my angel sent from above

Once again
I can't let go
Because it feels so right

Once again
My feelings show
As you hold me tight

Once again
I know I'll cry
Time after time

But once again
I feel at home
And that can't be a crime

Once again
My love shines through
And I can't let go

Once again
I will survive
And with you I will grow

Once again
I know I'll be hurt
But I really don't care

Because Once again
I've been through hell
But I'll make it to heaven

Just promise me its there..